Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Ashley's LiveJournal:

Saturday, September 13th, 2003
5:05 pm	They're still gone! I just called Kim, and Jake was being a butthead and wouldn't tell me where they are, what they're doing, or when they'll be back. He just laughed and said he couldn't tell me. But he's with his parents, so what the heck could he be doing? Got me curious. Aly's so good, I don't mind having her here at all. She's such a happy baby, usually, anyways. I'm afraid for my hair, however, she's fascinated by it for some reason, and keeps playing with it. So cute. Kelley came over with some of my stuff, I'm spending the night again and didn't feel like going to the dorm, with Aly, and my leg hurting. Kelley's never seen Aly, even she thought she was adorable, and I don't think I've seen Kelley get all sappy and stuff, but Aly makes anyone melt. She stayed for about a half hour, and Brad came over. It seemed like one let, and the other flew on in. He said he wanted Jake, and so I acted offended, and we had a long, long battle of insults. Gotta love it though. But now it's just me and Aly again. My outercourse activity is snuggling! (Comment on this)
10:11 am	Yay, I found out how to do the link thing. Yep, I'm a freak. ( 5 Survey ) Fan Forum is still messed! I miss it, haven't been there since, what, Wednesday? Jake and his parents went somewhere, didn't tell me where exactly. Kim has her cell, though, so I'm good. Aly's still snoozing away, no one wanted to wake her. I feel like being lazy, I woke up and my leg hurt. I think I tore something, or strained a muscle, or something. It hurts to walk on that one leg. So I'm just kind of rolling around in the computer chair as far as I can go, I don't want to try and walk. This happened a few years back, didn't hurt this bad though. Probably my running. Eh, I brought it upon mysef so I better remember that. Anyways, I'm going to do the meme thing... Saturday Scruples The pregnancy has been confirmed, but you're both single and in school. You're not ready to become parents. Do you arrange an abortion? Um, no. This happened already. I wouldn't do that. You're playing badminton with a very competitive person. You discover s/he has a disability, a blind spot. Do you take advantage? If I decided to, I'd feel awful, and guilty, and ask for a rematch most likely. In the middle of your evaluation, your boss is called away. Your personnel file is left open. Do you glance at it? Probably, but I think I'd 'fess up. I'd feel bad if I didn't. Saturday 8 1. did you participate in competitive sports as a child? A few. 2. if so, which one(s)? if not, why not? Softball, basketball, and soccer. 3. did your high school have a 'good' football team? Right now the laughter is so hard I'm afraid I'll wake Aly. No! 4. did you go to high school football games? why or why not? A few, some of my boyfriends played, or friends did. I don't like football though. I like to play sometimes. 5. which was the best in your high school: the football team, the cheerleaders or the band? The band, I couldn't stand the cheerleaders, they tried to recruit me once, make me physically ill thinking of it. And the football team, they weren't too great. 6. in high school, were you a cheerleader, a football player or a band member? why or why not? I wasn't any of them. I played football, but just for fun. I wouldn't join cheerleading, too anti-me. And I don't like band. 7. did you participate in college sports? why or why not? I'm not right now, probably won't in the future either. 8. it's football season again. do you prefer college or NFL football? Daily Double 1. Who is your favourite TV show couple? Dawson and Joey off Dawson's Creek. Others are Pacey and Andie, Pacey and Audrey, and Ross and Rachel. 2. Which hoilday are you most looking forward to? I honestly don't know for sure. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 12th, 2003
8:25 pm	Kim and Mike came here, instead of us going there. I sort of wanted to go there, but whatever. they didn't want us to miss work and school, so they set a good example by both taking the day off LOL. We ended up coming to Jake's early anyways, Brad says it's not healthy to be as "good" as we are. Since when do I listen to Brad, anyways? I felt a bit sad for some reason this morning... with what happened, the baby and all. I don't want to be upset, I got an e-mail from a friend, Sharon, and she put in it "Carpe diem!" Excellent, excellent advice, Sharon. I need to get something with that on it, something I can see a lot, remind me. I love e-mail, I got all happy when I saw she sent me something. I'm a freak, I love getting mail, too. She's still back home, well, my hometown atleast. She said we're getting a Walgreens! How can they, they're ruining our small town vibe. There's talk of a Super Wal-Mart being brought there, too. They're butchering it, I won't recognize a thing when I go back! Probably get lost... that'd be frightening, I've lived there like all my life. Anyways, we went out for dinner, just me, Jake, and his family. It was nice, I was starving. Kim laughed about how much I ate, I can't stand that. She's skinny, too! She doesn't have to say I need to eat more, but I get uncomfortable with compliments, or whatever. Aly made a total mess, I don't see how anyone would mind cleaning it up, she's too cute. But I'm biased. I'm the baby, the youngest, and my niece and nephews aren't that young anymore. Plus I see Aly more than them, she's the little sister I don't have. Everybody needs someone to spoil, even if you're totally broke, it's fun. Kim brought wedding magazines, the woman's obsessed. Jake just gave me a 'Ha ha, lucky me, I get to go do whatever' look, and left me to discuss. Not that I mind. Jenn and Sam will be bridesmaids, of course. I don't know if I want just hem, or do the whole "traditional" deal of three and one maid of honor. I don't think I'll choose my sisters, I doubt they'll care though. The best man is Brad, which frightens me, he has a speech all planned out. Sam heard it, she said he has some interesting things to say. Probably going to humilate me, but he knows I can hurt him. My dress... is it wrong to not exactly care? Well, maybe I do, but don't want to admit it. And that's about all I've got, nothing, basically. Jake's claiming that he's doing the honeymoon, should be interesting. But that's enough wedding talk. Aly fell asleep in Jake's bed, I wasn't going to stay over here anymore, but I've already contradicted myself. I'm taking the floor, don't want to wake Aly. What else is there to ramble about... Jake and I ended up getting totally soaked, good, clean, water-y fun. I love super soakers, playing, take's me back to being eight LOL. I'm immature, maybe, whatever. All good fun though, I could be doing worse things. Well, here's my blogging meme thingys... Friday Five 1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Yes, exactly the same. 2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I like my name. 3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) My parents just simply liked it, thought it was a pretty 'neutral' name, so they didn't think I'd mind it. They contemplated Holly, but decided they didn't like it, and Josephine, but thought that was a mouthful for a little kid. Also Christine, but also felt that was a bit long. 4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I love the name Madelaine, or Madison. I just think the nickname 'Maddie' is so cute, and I like Anastacia. I like a lot of others, too. 5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it? It's fairly accurate, I haven't read it in so long though. Daily Double 1. Have you ever played with an Ouija board? If so, how was it? No, I have one though. I guess I've never quite understood. 2. Who is your favorite comedian? I'm really not into comedians. cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be close to your special someone and feel warm, comfortable, and needed Nice, sweet, and innocent, yep, that's usually me. Current Mood: content Current Music: "Ready To Run" Dixie Chicks (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 11th, 2003
7:43 pm	September 11... doesn't seem like two years already, atleast I don't think so. I remember two years ago today, I was a junior and was getting over an ear infection or something, so I stayed home from school. I was watching MTV, I think music videos or some junk, just wanting some noise in the house, and logged on the computer. This worked for awhile, until about 9, all the sudden every freaking channel is the news, so I go in a chatroom, pretty much confused. It was all very surreal, looks like a scene from some movie. But it wasn't. I sat there like an idiot, dumbfounded basically, and couldn't wait for school to be over so I could hurry and see my friends and discuss it. Brad, in typical Brad fashion, didn't want to discuss, he just sort of hoped maybe it didn't happen? I don't know. Jenn was terrified, Sam was too. Jake was... there. Wigging out with the rest of us, but able to talk. Ethan, I think he really didn't kow what to say. I don't know that any of us did. It was such a powerful thing, it rallied all of the United States together, no matter how far we were from New York, if we knew anyone involved, or any of that. We all shared one thing: we were scared. It's amazing how that all changed us, of course the affect wasn't going to be anything light, but the way that everyone, even those in other countries, supported us, it's just... wow. Needless to say, this has all been on my mind pretty much all day. Just had to reflect. Kim called Jake today, but I had his cell phone, so I got it. We talked for a bit, I still can't call her Kim to her face (or over the phone or whatever), she laughs about it. Aly said her first word. It was 'hi'. She let me talk to her, and after a bit of babbling, she said it to me, too. I was all happy, it was exciting. I'm a dork, I know, but for 9 and a half months now we've been waiting for this, wondering how that little voice would sound, waiting to be able to talk to her... she's getting so big! Jake laughed when I told him, he said I love his sister more than him. Maybe... no, 'course not. We might go visit Kim and Mike this weekend, we've seen them a lot lately, every other week or so, but it's nice. I haven't seen my family since I moved here, but it's a day and a half trip. Jake's parents just moved around here this summer, they used to live some place near here before Jake was born, so decided to move back. I'm glad we're near them, they're sort of like second parents to me. Anyways, I've decided to start doing some of those daily blogging things, since I'm on here nearly every day, need my alone relaxing space, and this is where I find it. Here and at my easel, but whatever. This seems fun, though I may get less and less enthusiastic over time. Weekly Warmup: Ahat's the worst thing your computer has done when you were working on something important? Totally froze up when I was working on this major essay last year, worth a ton of my grade. I was idiotic, and worked three hours straight without saving. Had it coming, I guess. Do you have your own computer? Yep, it's not with me though. At my dad's. And I use the one at mom's, Jake's, and whoever else's. depending on where I am when I want on. Mainly I use Jake's, I've pretty much taken it over. I have a key to his place, so I just wander on over if I want to use it. Plus we have computers at school. Daily Double: 1. Do you write any stories? Fanfiction, mainly. Dawson's Creek, Dawson and Joey. It all majorly sucks, but I think, well hope, I'm improving. 2. What was the longest book that you've ever read? I can't say for sure. Recently, it would have to be Little Women, I just finished re-reading it. My favorite book, I love it. I think it has 500 some pages. 3 For Thursday 1. Where were you when you first heard about the events of 9-11? At home, I explained a bit earlier. 2. Did you know anyone who was on one of the flights - or was a relative? Fortunetly, no. 3. How has the tragic events changed your life - or your attitude in life? I've felt scared, and grateful. 4. Have you visited any of the attack sites/memorials? Nope. 5. Do you believe that the collapse of the Twin Towers (and resultant loss of life) was inevitable or were there mitigating factors, such as: a. Having all three escape passageways clustered in the center core of each building; b. The interior steel insulation had fallen off so there was no protection against the effects of superheating due to fire (the steel insulation was in the process of being replaced). This interior steel was heated to the point where it became as pliable as licorice; c. All sprinkler lines were situated in such a manner that they were sheared when the aircraft wings hit the buildings; d. The “stand and hold” policy of having handicapped or injured employees wait in what fire teams considered “safe” rescue areas; e. Access to the roof was barred and no notice posted that the roof was inaccessible nor that the NYPD no longer executed rooftop helicopter rescues; f. Fire and police rescue teams did not work in concert together (such as not communicating on the same radio frequency); g. Police and fire Department radios were the same as used in the 1993 terrorist bombing attack and, in many cases, were defective. Some firefighting teams did not receive the order to evacuate the buildings; h. Firefighters, many of whom carried 95-125 lbs of extra equipment had to trudge up 80 plus floors single file on one side of the narrrow stairwells as panicked civilians made their way down to the lobby on the other side of the same stairwell. i. In several cases, the only available cleared stairwell down to safety was not or could not be relayed to other trapped victims in the upper floors or rescue teams attempting to climb up. j. Port Authority employees in the South Twin Tower told workers it was safe to go back to their offices; k. Prior damage inflicted on the buildings during the 1993 terrorist bombing attack. I think that all of these things had fators in this, and the terrorists used some of these against us. But what's done is done, it's not our fault. Current Music: "Show Me Heaven" (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
8:15 pm	Just got back in, now to continue my ramblings... I woke up at 3 this morning, and was through with being upset, and feeling like it was all my fault, and I just felt... I don't know, relaxed, inspired. So I started a new painting. I haven't really painted since my art classes back in senior year, which, in reality was only a few months ago, but sounds like it was so much longer. I'm doing a portrait, I rarely do portraits. I guess I just let it flow, I didn't put much thought into what I was doing, all very natural. I love that feeling. It's of Jake, things were weird yesterday, and the other night, and for awhile now I guess. Maybe I'm just trying to make things right somehow, show him I'm thinking of him? Who knows. I don't think that's the vibe he's getting, I said I'm not going to stay there anymore, I don't think it's a good idea. Not until we get married, I don't want a repeat of this all. Kelley thinks it's hilarious and says that it's not going to work, but I'll show her wrong. Anyways I'm sick of all this questioning of 'us'. I'm about ready to take my sister Lauren's advice and run off to Vegas, she claims it will solve many problems. She's all wild, and spontaneous, and so... not me. On other news... I had to laugh at this, I got one of the worst pick-up lines today. "Do you sleep on your stomach?" "No..." "Can I?" Never heard that one, have to give the guy credit, original. Even Sam thought so, and she gets the worst pick-up lines on a regular basis. Yeah, we really don't talk about anything useful. Hmm, I got a package. My first since living here. It was a 'Not that I miss you but...' package LOL, how sweet. I got homemade sugar cookies, a tape with James van der Beek on 'So Graham Norton', and a quotes book 'I know What You Quoted Last Summer', all from Adam, this guy who was in my art class last year. He's a senior now, and a great guy, taught me a lot. I think I was the most inexperienced person in that class. I don't think anyone's ever made cookies especially for me, they're a it burnt around the edges, but still I love that. Especially for when I'm sort of 'down'. I'm a sucker for sweet little things. Once I got roses for my birthday from Ethan, and lillies from Jake, and somehow the lillies meant so much more, even though I was sort of, kind of dating Ethan. And for Valentines day, my favorite card was one from my nephew who totally scribbled it all, and my name was all wrong, and the heart was more circular, but I loved it. This year I think I'm only giving gifts with meaning behind them, secret little things that nobody knows about, I love that kind of deal. (Comment on this)
6:01 pm	I lost the baby. I should be all 'woe is me' right about now, but I'm not. I felt bad yesterday, and still do today. But I talked to Tara, and she gave me excellent sisterly advice, though it was extremely cheesy and dumb, I love her for it. She reminded me that I'm 18, that I need time to be dumb and a kid still. This is coming from the responsible one herself. And that I'd be ready later. And as much as I hate to admit this, she's right. So I'm staying in the dorm, for this year atleast. Next summer we've planned on getting married, so I want to have the whole little experience-tacky as that sounds. And I want to get along with Kelley, though we have the whole love/hate deal going on. Tomorrows 9/11, maybe that's what's making me analyze everything? I'm not sure. Anyways, I've been thinking, that's for sure. Tomorrow night there's a thing for 9/11, I think I'm going to go, take part in Kelley's branching out plan for herself. I'll be back later-will have more to write. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 8th, 2003
8:09 pm	I went out running this morning for the first time in what seems like years. Though I know I just did like a week ago. I love it-getting up at the insane hour of 5:45, sneaking out, and having like an hour of 'me' time. I want to go pick up new Nike gear, I got a running top, shorts, and shoes for Christmas last year, though I said it was ridiculous to buy into that. It' the same as any other pair of shorts, or shoes, or whatever, basically. It was cut short though, I had my head in the clouds and run smack into this guy. Ah, embarassing, I nearly fell over, but he helped me, laughing his ass off at my clumsiness. That should've been my clue to take off, but we ended up talking, turns out he think's he's seen me around campus, or whatever. He's 22, name's Chris. So we ran and chatted for a bit longer, it was fun. I know virtually no one at school, just Kelley and a few people I've seen at classes and Kelley's people. I got his number, he wants to do something sometime. I felt bad in a way, guilty maybe, but he has a girlfriend, I'm engaged, so it's just me being strange. Jake was a bit pissed, but whatever. I think he's over it. Brad came over again, the boy is just like a dog, if you feed him once, he keeps coming back. I made pizza again, that's what I live on lately, but Jake feels the need to be annoyingly nice and sweet, and wanted to lecture me about eating healthier. I was busy talking to him and Brad, so when I went to get the pizza, the potholder slipped and I burnt two fingers. Yowch. I'm a huge baby, I hate to admit it though. I just did that a few weeks ago, except on my arm with the bread machine. I have an annoying habit of hurting my self, none on purpose though. You'd think somebody beats me! I was worse when I was younger though, every picture of me from probably 14 or 15 under I have scabby knees and Band Aids and I'm all bruised up. Today I was doodling and not paying attention as always, and it hit me. I love the name Madelaine. Then I could call the baby Maddie and that's so cute. Or Madison. My dearest sister brat Tara wants me to name the baby Cristalle if it's a girl. She wants a girl I think, and that's her favorite perfume, she's obsessed with the name. I don't think so, it reminds me of Cristal. I like Anastacia too, and Caitlin. And I have about a million and two boys names I like. I think I should name it Dawson if it's a boy. I've joked about that, ooh Jake would love that LOL. And I like Alec. Alec sounds a bit like Aly though, and then it'd get confusing. Kim had to go and take a good name, but oh well, I have plenty of idle time to analyze. I need suggestions, Brad votes for his name to be used. Mmmhmm, yeah, I don't thik so, hon. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 7th, 2003
8:31 pm	Bradley He's a lovable idiot. Just when I was about 95% sure that I'd never talk to him again, due to him completely pissing me off, he was getting some magazines, which I don't even want to know what kind they were, and saw Dawson's Creek books. He got me four in the series dealy, so now I have five. So he's not totally bad. We just have... issues. We were a horrid couple, it was mainly just this dumb 5 second pyschical attraction thing. Which led me to think about the horrors of boyfriends past... There was Ethan. Sam's Ethan. It was nice and all, but we just really don't have too much in common. It didn't click. Then there was Jake's cousin whom I dated because I was majorly pissed at him. Eric, he has got to be the horniest guy I've ever met. Ew. He tops Brad, and I think Brad's bad. But then again I can't believe the numbers Brad, Jen, Kelley, and even Sam were tossing around of how many people they've slept with. They laugh at me, I've always sort of felt like Jenn and Sam were all sophisticated, and experienced, and prettier than I am. I guess it seemed like they were older than me? When reality is that I'm in the middle-Jenn's a few months younger, Sam a month older. And I'm the youngest in my family, too. I've always been the little cute one who was adored or whatever. I was almost 16 when I got my first boyfriend, I think that nearly every other girl in my grade went out with people way before that. I thought this whole thing wasn't a huge deal, it'd recede eventually. But no, I'm still amusing to my friends because I'm, as Jenn once said, the baby of the group basically. And it's been this way since preschool I guess. Is it so wrong for me to have the least bit of morals? I just think it's crazy. And then when I did lose my virginity, everyone somehow found out and was just harpooning me for it. Talk about being indecisive, and it's no one elses business. They acted as if I'd commited a felon, made me even more uncomfortable, and it was awful. I was 18 years old, prom night, no big deal, main issue. And I get embarrased so easily, this still is humiliating. Anyways, don't know how I got here but, back on track. Everyone stuck around for supper, so we just made pizzas. Yuck, I feel disgustingly full. Gross. I realized I can't fit into my smaller sizes of jeans without really having to try to button them, then one of the buttons came out. My favorite pair of jeans too... Oh well, whatever. I hate elastic on jeans, so I think I might just start living in my comfies until the baby's born. Sounds good to me, now I have an excuse. I'm still freaking out when I think about it for awhile. We're getting married next summer, the baby will be a few months old. We'll have a kid when we get married. And a honeymoon? I suppose we won't want to leave the baby for long, so either we take him/her with, or just cut it short. We wanted to go to Greece, or Venice, or Paris for like, two weeks. I'm sort of doubting that now. But then again I can think of about a million and five reasons why this is a good thing. I'm going to stop with all the babble now. (Comment on this)
3:39 pm	People are driving me to the point of insanity! For some outlandish reason, it seems everyone has decided just to congregate at Jake's place, well, mine too, but anyways it's making me crazy. This place is barely big enough for Jake and all his stuff, and my stuffs not all even here yet, and then you add our friends lounging around into the mix. Jenn's moving in with Ethan and Sam, she doesn't have an excuse anymore. Brad can go frolic with what's-her-face at her place, wherever that may be, but noooo they have to come grope on our sofa. And then we have to watch pointless movies and half of them are engaging in some stupid ass drinking game. Thanks a lot guys, just flaunt that right in front of me, Jenn too. Though she doesn't seem to mind, I do. Brad's being a smart ass, why did we ever have to start playing with him way back when... Maybe I'm just being a total bitch, but I'm sleep deprived. (Comment on this)
9:01 am	Feeling yucky I've been up for awhile... puking my brains out. Atleast I know it's not food poisoning now. Everyone's sleeping, Jenn crashed on the couch watching movies. We didn't get to bed until 3 in the morning! I usually go to be at, like, 10:30. Due to my alone time, I've been "pondering" somethings. Like the fact that a bit ago I got drunk? Uh oh... But then again, I know literally nothing. I don't think that's good though, common knowledge. Doctor's idiocy had me with the wrong EDD, now it's March 30. Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 6th, 2003
8:55 pm	I love Jake Despite my bitchiness today, he brought me daisies and then left me the hell alone, which I wanted. Why on earth he stays with me, I have not a clue. Though I'm glad he does :). I'm an odd one, a few hours ago I was freaked, now I'm actually, dare I say, happy. The baby's dad is the guy I love, we're getting married, we wanted kids in the future. Financially... well, on my part it's a mess, but Jake's doing good. Jake's great with kids, I love watching him and his baby sister, Aly. We abused Jake's phone bill and called (long distance) our parents. Kim and Mike don't live that far, only a few hours, but my parents live quite a bit aways. They're... shocked, as expected. But it's a good shocked. My sister's gloating over the fact that I won't be "tiny" anymore--was I ever tiny in the first place LOL? My stomach's flat as a board for now, good thing. I've always had a little waist, I'm like, a size 1, or 0, or 2, depends on the brand. So this will be so weird. I'm due on April 15, tax day LOL. Well 'nough from me for now. xoxo, Ashley Current Mood: calm Current Music: "She's The One" World Party (Comment on this)
7:12 pm	Siberia Sounds Good I've come to a conclusion that I am incapable of loving and being loved, and to eliminate the fallout, I'm thinking fleeing the area sounds great. Maybe I can go to New York or... somewhere. Total anonynmity. Either that or telling Jake, and Kelley, and Brad, and Ethan, pretty much everyone, that they can deal much better without some basketcase breathing down their necks, and we can all just... whatever. Do I want this? No. Will I do this? Most likely, no. (Comment on this)
6:31 pm	No... way... Me, Jenn, and Sam have been relatively close for the past few years, but this is just frightening. I am wigging out. I had a doctors appointment today, I've been sick lately, Kelley thought I had food poisoning. So anyways, I figured whatever, I'll see. Well I get there and-surprise!-I don't have food poisoning. So now I'm really scared, thinking something's really up, paranoid as usual. And what does this lovely (yeah, right) doctor tell me? I'm somewhere in the neighborhood of two months pregnant. I start blurting out obscenities, and the doctor looks at me as if I'm crazy. I go back to the dorm, Kelley's there and all perky along with Jake, they were just having a grand old time chatting it up, they wonder what's up my ass, so I start screaming at the both of them. Well by now they've mustered up that something must be wrong, so there goes my idea of just not telling anyone, I don't know, running off to Siberia. Apparently I'm not a good actress, so the 'Nothings wrong' card didn't go over as nicely as anticipated, so... I pretty much was left with telling them. Funny how when I found out about Jenn I was just thrilled, but when I got this news, it was completely the opposite. I've said for how long that I wouldn't have a kid until I was surely ready, both of my sisters had kids before getting married, and Jenn had a pregnancy scare awhile back, and I'd just sit there thinking how I was so much smarter. But I'm as stupid as the rest of them. Especially to have this happen in college, I've wanted to go to college since I was like, seven. Jake is much too idealistic, he thinks everything will be just fine, we can handle things. Yeah right, get a clue, dear. I'm moving out of the dorm and in with him, which, right now, sounds awful. I just... I don't know, I wish I was, like 5 again sometimes. Everything was great, I was totally oblivious, very sheltered, not a care in the world. I'm afraid to tell our parents. Aly will be like, a year older than our baby, and she'll be it's aunt. I find that weird. Jenn's trying to make me feel better, a lost cause, and she's just thinking things will be great, our kids will be about a month a part. I'm just having a really, really hard time with this right now. But I'm keeping it, for sure. Though I'm thinking I'll be a dreadful mother, I'm still a kid practically. I'm the baby, I can't be having a baby! (Comment on this)
3:07 pm	Oh my gosh... I jsut got some unfreakingbelievable news. Jenn's pregnant! Couldn't believe it. She refuses to tell me who the dad is, all I know is they aren't together. If I find out I'll kick his sorry ass. But Jenn has us, we can help. It's rocky with her parents-she moved in with them about a month ago, and they gave her a curfew and all these rules. Jenn can't deal with that, she's much to rebellious. I'm actually envious of that at times, she's more of a act now, think later person than I am. She was living about an hour and a half away in her own apartment, but I'm insisting she move in with Jake, Brad, or Sam and Ethan. We all live within about a 20 mile radius, it's sad lol. We have a weird group thing going on, I love it though. I'm trying with all my might to get Jenny to name the baby Dawson or Joey, or something Creek related. She just gives me these bizarre looks, but I've not totally lost hope. She tells me I need therapy lol. Kelley wants to go shopping, and can't find a better person to nag than me. She wants to go to the Forum, I think that place is crazy expensive though. Never really shopped there, but Kelley thinks her Jimmy Choo shoes were cheap. That girl is insane! Her parents furnish her with a credit card, so I suppose it doesn't really matter to her. That bugs me, I work extremely hard for my paycheck, invest money in the bank, and she just gets the money from her parents. It's how it's always been with her I think. Jenn can be the same way, too. Oh well, atleast I can (usually) laugh about my financial situation I can not believe the weather here-it's about 70 right now. Usually I'll be having to be wearing pants right around now. I'm not used to it at all! Ah-gotta go, Jake's walking in :) (Comment on this)
Friday, September 5th, 2003
10:12 pm	More of my randomosity 1) Who should play you in a movie about your life?: Me! 2) What do you use to wash your hair?: Shampoo and conditioner, naturally 3) Your face?: Dove 4) Who's your favorite Golden Girl?: Don't watch it 5) Do you know how to play poker?: Not very good 6) What class did you cut the most in high school?: Film 7) Invite 3 people to dinner: Can't choose just three! 8) Favorite incense flavor: Vanilla 9) Age you first shaved: I can't remember 10) What color nail polish are you wearing right now?: Lavender 11) Coolest animal you've seen up close: Zebra 12) Favorite standup comedian: Don't have one 14) First letter or digit of yr license plate: I don't own a car 15) Describe your dream wedding: I have so many wedding fantasies... 16) First store you run to at the mall: Gap or AE 17) Ever been to a strip club?: No 18) Do you wear a watch?: Sometimes 19) Do you know how to tie a tie?: Nope 20) Ever see a UFO?: No 21) Cooking fiasco: Everyday! 22) Thoughts on Eminem: I don't listen to him 23) Do you own any diamonds?: My earings and engagement ring 24) What do you carry with you at all times?: Contact case, glasses 25) Ever smoke a cigar?: No 26) Do you snore?: No 27) Talk in your sleep?: No 28) Gum- fruity or minty?: Minty 29) How do you drive?: Awful! 30) Can you drive stick?: Not to save my life 31) Best Elvis song: Don't know 32) What do you miss most about being little?: Not having a care in the world 33) Whom would you call to bail you out of jail?: Jake 34) Cartoon character you'd date: None? 35) Musical collaboration you'd most like to see: Sarah McLachlan and Jann Arden 36) Are you allergic to anything?: Cats, pollen, dust... 37) Perfume or cologne you wear most?: CK One 38) Can you draw/sketch?: Everyone can, I thought. Atleast most everyone 39) Carnival food: Popcorn 40) Who did you want to be as a child?: Me You answered "yes" to 32 of 100 questions, making you 68.0% sexually pure (32.0% sexually corrupt); that is, you are 68.0% pure in the sex domain. Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 33%, based on a comparison of your test results with 879613 other submissions for this test. See I AM pretty pure. Relationships Survey [name:] Ashley [sign:] Sagitarrius [sexual orientation:] hetero [in a relationship now (how long):] Yes, for 1 year. But we've dated each other before, long story... [how long since last serious relationship:] I'm in one [# of relationships longer than 3 months:] 2 [# of relationships shorter than a month:] 0 [longest relationship how many months:] This one [ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend (how many):] I practically do right now [ever done the long distance thing:] nope [do you have faith in long distance relationships:] sure [do you date:] yes [on dates do you pay or get paid for:] alternate [describe your typical date:] dinner and a movie [ever been on a blind date:] yes [ever dated more than one person at a time:] no [do you call or get called:] both [ever have "friends with benefits":] no [ever cheated:] yes, just kissing though [ever had your heart broken:] yes [ever been dumped:] yes [do you put out the first night:] no [last sexual episode:] this is nosy! [do you kiss on the first date:] if I know them well, and like them [what kind of person gets your number:] depends [ever been in love(how many times):] 2 [say I love you even thou you didn't mean it:] yes, I wasn't sure [have any bitter ex's:] yes [bitter towards any ex's:] yes [oldest person you've dated:] all my age [youngest person you've dated:] all my age [average age you get involved with:] my age [have relationships changed you:] a bit [have your relationships been worthwhile:] yes [where do you normally meet people for dating or relationships:] most are friends [what defines a girlfriend/boyfriend:] depends [would you ever get married:] yes [key to a successful relationship:] trust [best attribute you bring to a relationship:] not sure [worst attribute you bring to a relationship:] not sure [importance of relationships in your life:] depends Body Survey Hair: What's your natural hair color? -dark brown Is it straight/curly/wavy? -straight How long/short is it? -belows shoulders Is it layered? -no Have you ever had really short hair? -when I was really little What celebrity has the cutest short hair? -Michelle Williams with short hair was adorable What celebrity has the best long hair? -Jennifer Aniston Do you think a person's hair has a lot to do with how they look? -yeah Describe your usual hair style: -Messy, but cute. I like it. Do you prefer having your hair up or down? -depends Are you proud of it? -yeah Is it frizzy? -no What type of hair do you envy? -not sure Is your hair dry? -no Is it really oily? -no Blondes or brunettes? -brunettes The previous answer or red heads? -brunettes Do you often gel your hair or put unnatural things in it? -not much Do you like putting unnatural things in it? -depends Does your hair smell good? -yes Eyebrows: What color are your eyebrows? brown Are they arched/curved/kinda straight? -curved Are they thick? -no Are they no more than a pencil line? -no Are they natural? -yes Do you they make your eyes look deep? -not sure Do you like your eyebrows? -sure Do you wax or pluck them? -pluck Do you they suit everything else about you? -don't know Do you look at the eyebrows of the opposite sex? -not unless it's noticable Would you pierce your eyebrows? no Eyes: What color are your eyes? -brown What color do you want them to be? -brown Do they change color? -no Are your eyes beautiful? -sure Do you believe they reveal your soul? -I suppose Do you have expressive eyes? -unfortunetly What are they shaped like? -normal? lol Who has the prettiest eyes? -Jake, they're gorgeous eyes. Blue ones. What's the best eye color? -depends Do you wear contacts? -yes Glasses? -rarely Are your eyes deep? -yes Are they dark? -yes Do you always look for nice eyes? -don't think so Do your eyes sparkle when you smile or cry? (Other than the fact that they're moist) -i've been told so Do you have long lashes? -yeah Do you have thick lashes? -no Are your lashes curled? -a bit Are lashes really important? -yep Do you wear a lot of eyeliner/eyeshadow? -not a lot What's the best eye color on the opposite sex? -Jake's blue eyes Do you people tell you you have nice eyes? -yes Nose: Do you like your nose? -eh Is it flat? -no Have you injured it before? -no Is it broad? -no Is it pointy? -no Does it resemble Christina Aguilera's nose? -huh? Do you pluck anything regarding your nose? -no Do you always poke your nose where it's not wanted? -no Do you have a button nose? -don't know Would you pierce it? -nah Ears: Do you have small ears? -don't know Are they flexible? -sure? Are they sensitive? -to the cold Are they pierced? -yes ...More than once on each? -yes Do you always clean them? -yes Do you hear well? -I guess Do you like your ears? -yep Cheeks: Do you like your cheeks? -sure... Are they chubby? -no Do you have high cheekbones? -sort of Do you think cheekbones are really important? -no Are your cheeks smooth? -yeah Are they rosey? -I suppose Do people often pinch them? -Kelley does, she think I have an innocent quality. Kelley's a freak lol Do they make you look nice? -not sure Got a dimple? -no Lips: Are your lips really red? -not really Are they pale? -no Are they fleshy/pink? -yes Are they full? -pretty Are they small? -not really Is one lip larger than the other? -don't know Do you want thick lips? -doesn't matter Who has the best lips? -Jake Do you wear lip gloss? -yes Lip stick? -yes Lip liner? -no Do you kiss a lot? -yes Are your lips smooth? -pretty much Do you like your lips in general? -yep Do you have a nice smile? -I suppose Would you pierce your bottom lip? -no Chin: Do you have a broad chin? -no Is it cute? -I don't know! Have you ever had a double chin? -no Does it define your face well? -I guess Got a cleff? (sp?) -no Neck: Do you have a nice neck? -sure Got big bones around there? -no Have you ever been strangled/choked? -no Do you have a smooth neck? -yes Do you like your neck? -yes Do you always show it? -yes Do you like turtlenecks? -no Do you sweat a lot at the back of your neck? -no Chest/Shoulders: Do you have a nice collarbone? -sure... Are your shoulders bone? -yeah Is your skin smooth around there? -yeah Are you gifted regarding your chest? -Depends on what you consider 'gifted' Do you wish you are, if not? -I'd say I am, so, no Arms/Wrists/Hands: Do you like your arms? -sure Are they slender? -yep Got tattoos around there? -no Do you have smooth skin there? -yes Do you have dark elbows? -no Are your elbows bone? -um, yeah What are your wrists like? -average Do your veins show a lot? -not any more than anyone elses Your bones? -not really Do you wear watches? -sometimes Are your fingers slim? -I guess Are they long? -yes Do they have a certain shape? -no... Are your fingertips narrow/candlike/small/larger than your fingers? -don't pay attention Do you wear rings? -yes Do you have "girlie" fingers? -not sure Does your palm have a lot of lines? -a few Are there these two lines on your palms that kinda meet at one point and form a triangle of some sort? -yeah You know that means you'll be rich, right? -really? Are the lines are your palm long? -yeah Do you know that long lines mean you're really loving, smart, responsible, etc.? -interesting Do your lines form chain-like patterns? -um? If they do they represent tough times. -really... What are your nails like? -average Do you wear fake nails? -no Do you have small nails? -sorta Are they pink? (Natural color) -yes Are your nails weak? -yes Do you paint them? -occasionally Stomach/Waist: Does your waist go in? -yes Did you have to work for that? -no Do you have Janet's abs? -who? Do you have a flat stomach? -yes Is it tan? -yes Would you pierce your navel? -maybe Do you often show your stomach? -not really Privates Do you think your privates are nice-looking? -what!?! What's the hair like down there? -aren't we inquisitive Ever had any foreign objects in/around your privates? -foreign? Got a name for your privates? -um, no... How often do you get horny? -I can't believe this asks this question! How many people have seen your privates? -...one Can you do any neat tricks with your privates? -huh? Ooh! Jake's home, gonna go. (Comment on this)
8:05 pm	Surveys, my ramblings, and the such Kelley insists that we should go do something tonight, she wants to go see 'The Matrix Reloaded', they're playing it here at 10 tonight. I personally think she's been a little over enthusiastic about campus events, it's frightening. On the 27th Matchbox Twenty's playing as part of family weekend, which I want to go to. Have to see about getting tickets, but Kelley claims she scored some. But I need to concentrate on classes-today I totally spaced, and skipped one. Not cool. Other than that, I don't have much to say... for now. So I've got to post some surveys--I'm addicted I'm afraid. Love Survey 1. Do you believe in love?-Yes 2. Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone?-Yes 3. Have you hugged someone today?-Yep 4. Is romance expensive?-It doesn't have to be. I think the simplest things are romantic. 5. Is romance important in your life?-Yes 6. Is romance a prelude to sex?-It can be 7. Have you ever made anything "from the heart" for someone you cared about?-Yeah, I painted something. 8. Have you ever called someone you cared about just to tell them that you were thinking of them?-Yeah, I'm guilty of doing that a lot. 9. Have you ever gone out of your way to be with the person you care about?-Yeah 10. Have you ever written a love letter?-Yes, ah, very sappy and cheesy. 11. Have you ever written a love poem?-No 12. Have you ever kissed?-Yes 13. Have you ever surfed the internet for inspiration on ways to be romantic?-Nope 14. Have you ever asked a friend for advice on being romantic?-No 15. Must romance and love be returned to be worth the effort?-No 16. Are you or have you ever been in love?-Yes 17. Have you ever started a new hobby to share with someone you cared about?-Yeah, photography 18. Have you ever kissed in the rain?-Yes, I reccomend it 19. Have you ever had a romantic picnic at home?-Not at home 20. Have you ever watched a sunset with someone you cared about?-Yes, very nice 21. Have you ever watched a sunrise wtih someone you cared about?-Once, I'm rarely up that early though 22. Have you ever made a dedication over the radio to someone you cared about?-No 23. Have you ever slow danced with someone you cared for at home in front of a radio?-Yes 24. Have you ever celebrated an anniversary with your significant other besides a yearly one?-Yep 25. Would you be willing to embarrass yourself just to see your significant other smile?-Yeah, done it before 26. Have you done something romantic in the last year?-Yes 27. Have you done something romantic within the past month?-Yep 28. Have you done something romantic within the past week?-Mmmhmm 29. Have you done something romantic in the last 24 hours?-Yeah 30. Have you ever helped a friend be more romantic?-No 31. Have you kept items from particular dates?-Yes, I have a whole 'Jake' shoebox. I doubt I'll ever tell anyone. 32. Have you created any sort of tradition with your significant other?-Yeah, we have a lot that we've done since we were little. 33. Have you ever participated in cyber-sex with someone other than the person you were dating?-No 34. Have you ever attempted to make someone jealous?-Yes, though I'm ashamed to say it. 35. Do you often compare your significant other to past relationships?-Nope 36. Have you ever cooked a meal for someone you care about?-Yes, it was awful food though 37. Have you ever received a kiss that made your whole body tingle, the thoughts run from your head, and make you feel as though you were flying?-Yes 38. Could you deliver a kiss as mentioned in the previous question?-Ah... I don't know. 39. Can love conquer all?-No 40. Would you give your life to save someone you loved?-I'd like to think I would, I hope so. And another... 1. What was the last meaningful thing you did? Called up my parents. 2. What was your first love like? Amazing, incredible, fantastic. 3. What do you wish you could tell your parents? I don't know/ 4. What is the one thing you would never do, no matter how much you wanted to? Not sure, actually. 5. What are your favorite sounds? Music, the people I love talking, laughter 6. How do you get over someone? I'm not sure. 7. Do you like cartoons? Some 8. Have you ever contemplated suicide? No 9. How old were you when you gave/received your first kiss? 15/15 10. How do you deal with anger? Talk about it, write about it 11. What is your opinion on bisexuality? To each their own. 12. In a perfect world, what would you be? Me 13. How tall are you? 5'8" 14. Do you ever feel invisible? No 15. Would you be willing to go on Temptation Island? No 16. Do you keep a journal? Yep, on and offline 17. What is the most unusual gift you bought for somebody last Christmas? Can't really remember 18. Why do you fail? Not sure, several reasons 19. Do you write snail mail to anyone or do you mostly email? Both/ 20. How do you feel about pornography? Eh... I'm not into it, but whatever if you are. 21. What is heaven like? Wonderful, the best place imaginable 22. What do you have on your walls? Pictures, a clock, and a calendar. And all of Kelley's posters and the likes 23. What is hell like? Dreadful 24. What is the most embarrassing CD in your collection? Spice Girls 25. What is in your fridge right now? Strawberries, diet coke, and leftover pizza 26.What is your date and place of birth? 12/6/84 27. If you could talk to yourself as a five year old for five seconds, what would you say? You'll do fine. 28. If Satan appeared to you right now, what would he say? No clue 29. What should people pay more attention to? One another 30. Left handed or right? Right 31. What about you would surprise other people? Not usre 32. What is your favorite poem? I don't read much poetry 33. What is a guilty pleasure you have? Ben and Jerry's 34. What book changed your life? None, I don't think atleast 35. What's in your shower? I live in a dorm, but I have stuff in Jake's shower, so I'll list that: shampoo, conditioner, a loofah, razor, shaving gel, and bath wash The 500 Question Survey ~You Stuff~ 001. What is your name? Ashley 002. Spell your name backwards. Yelhsa 003. Date of birth: 12/6/84 004. Male or female? female 005. Astrological sign: Sagitarrius 006. Nicknames: Ah... not telling :) 007. Occupation? College student 008. Height: 5'8" 009. Weight: About 110, 105-ish 010. Hair color: Brown 011. Eye color: Brown 012. Where were you born? WI 013. Where do you reside now? Wilmington, NC 014. Age: 18 015. Screen names: elegantlywasted, djforalways, joeyheartsdawson, dawsonjoeyalways, many, many more probably 016. E-mail addy: dawsonjoeyalways@yahoo.com 017. What does your screen name stand for? Dawson and Joey from Dawson's Creek, they're meant to be. 018. What is your LJ name? djforalways 019. What does your diary name stand for? That's the same as my LJ name 020. Pets: None! 021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? 18 022. Piercings? Just the ears 023. Tattoo's? Nope, I'm contemplating getting a little one though 024. Shoe size: 8 1/2 025. Righty or lefty? Right 026. Wearing: Jake's comfies, white shirt, and robe. Guys clothes is better than girls. 027. Hearing: "I Wanna Be YOur Underwear" by Bryan Adams. Song drives me nuts, but Jenn is crashed on Jake's couch and she needs music to sleep. Yep, she's a freak. But we love her. 028. Feeling: Keyboard 029. Eating/drinking: Diet Coke ~Friends Stuff~ Which one of your friends is the.... 030. Craziest? Jenn 031. Loudest? Jenn 032. Nicest? Jake 033. Bitchiest? Kelley, when she's irritated 034. Life of the party? Kelley or Jenn 035. Jock? Ethan 036. Prep? Sam 037. Rebel? Brad 038. Cutest? Jake 039. Best friend of the same sex? It's a tie between Jenn and Sam. 040. Best friend of the opposite sex? Jake 041. Most popular? Kelley 042. Rudest? Jenn when drunk 043. Most shy? Ethan 044. Dumbest? Brad 045. Smartest? Sam 046. Weirdest? Sam 047. Has the best hair? Jake 048. Best personality? All! 049. Most talented? Jake 050. Most ghetto? We aren't 'ghetto' atleast I don't think so 051. Most spoiled? Kelley 052. Drama queen? Jake 053. Pain in the ass? All can be equally 054. Funniest? Jenn 055. Best advice giver? Sam 056. Druggie? None 057. Most likely to join a cult? I can't picture any of them doing that 058. Have you lost touch with a good friend recently? A bit, Jenn and I haven't been as close lately 059. Person you've been friends with the longest? Jake 060. How many friends do you have on your buddy list? 5, I know virtually nobody ~Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~ 061. Have you ever been in love? Yes 062. How many people have you told "I love you"? 2, and then family 063. How many people have you been in love with? 2 064. How many people have you kissed? About 10? 065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? No 066. How many people have you dated? Four 067. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Nothing specifically 068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Personality 069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for? The best friend 070. Do you have a bf/gf? Yeah 071. If so where did you meet them? The park when we were oh-so-young 072. What do you like most about your bf/gf? Everything 073. Do you have a crush right now? Yes 074. If so who is it? James van der Beek, I'm telling you, we're meant to be ;) 075. Do you believe in love at first sight? No 076. Do you remember your first love? Of course 077. Who is the first person you kissed? This one guy, Jason? We were 15. 078. Do you believe in fate? I don't know 079. Do you believe in soul mates? Yes 080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours? I have ~Family Stuff~ 104. How many siblings do you have? Two 105. What are your parents names? I'm gonna protect the privacy there 106. What are your siblings names? Same as above 107. How many siblings does your mother have? 2 108. How many siblings does your father have? 4 109. Where are your parents from? WI 110. Is your family close? Yes 111. Does your family get together for holidays? Yes 112. Do you have a drunk uncle? Yeah 113. Any medical problems run through your family? Yes 114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? Not to my knowledge 115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? 4 of 'em. I love them to pieces and spoil them rotten. I'm fun aunt Ashley :) 116. Are your parents divorced? Yes 117. Do you have step parents? Yes 118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? Probably 119. If so for what? Nevermind... 120. Did some of your family come to America from another country? Way back in the day, probably ~Music Stuff~ 121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? "Daydream Believer" 122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own? Spice Girls 123. What's the best cd you own? oth of my "Songs From Dawson's Creek" CDs 124. What song do you absolutely hate? That new Bow Wow song 125. Do you sing in the shower? If no one's around 126. What song reminds you of that special someone? "Show Me Heaven" by Jessica Andrews ~Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!~ 127. Pink: I'm a hazard to myself 128. Aerosmith: Can't think! 129. Madonna: Like a virgin! 130. Korn: Don't know! 131. Backstreet Boys: Show me the meaning of being lonely 132. The Beatles: Hey Jude... 133. Sublime: Not sure... 134. J.Lo: I'm glad for the way you make me feel 135. *Nsync: Dirty pop 136. Limp Bizkit: I did it all for the nookie 137. Britney Spears: I'm a slave for you 138. Creed: One, oh one... 139. Enrique Iglesias: Will you be my hero baby? 140. Good Charlotte: Not sure... 141. Christina Aguilera: It's about time for my arrival 142. Eminem: Workin' at Burger king, spittin' on your onion rings 143. New Found Glory: Don't know! 144. Kelly Clarkson: What happened to Miss Independent? 145. Kelly Osbourne: Papa don't preach 146. Mandy Moore: I wanna be with you 147. Eve: Let me blow your mind 148. Aaliyah: Rock the boat 149. Nelly: It's getting hot in here... 150. Alicia Keys: I keep on fallin'... 151. Incubus: Not a clue ~Favorites~ 152. Color: Purple, blue 153. Food: Don't really have one 154. Song: "Daydrea Believer" 155. Show: Dawson's Creek 156. School subject: English 157. Band/singer: Sarah McLachlan, No Doubt 158. Animal: Ducks 159. Outfit: Jake's comfies paired with my AE lacy tank 160. Radio station: Any contempo pop 161. Movie: E.T. "I'll be right here..." Classic. 162. Pair of shoes: My white Nike 'walking' shoes that I use for running 163. Cartoon: Spongebob, he's just too cute 164. Actor: James van der Beek 165. Actress: Michelle Williams or Katie Holmes 166. Potato chip: i don't like chips 167. Drink: Diet Coke 168. Alcholic drink: Coke and rum 169. Holiday: I love 'em all 170. Perfume/cologne: CK One 171. Pizza topping: Pepperoni 172. Jello flavor: Cherry 173. Lunch meat: Ham 174. Board game: Clue 175. Video game: Grand Theft Auto 176. Website: Fan Forum 177. Book: "Little Women"--my parents contemplated naming me after Jo, so then I went and read the book, and loved it. They thought I may not like that name eventually, though. Some people call me that anyways, mainly because of my past tomboyish nature... Let's not talk about that though 178. Computer game: Dominoes 179. Number: Don't have one 180. Cereal: 19 181. Comedian: Don't have one 182. Dessert: Anything Ben & Jerry's 183. Disney character: Shrek 184. Clothing store: AE and Gap, I love their sales 185. Pasttime: A lot 186. Teacher: My kindergarten teacher 187. Childhood toy: Legos 188. Carnival game/ride: I don't have one 189. Candy bar: Reese's bars 190. Magazine: Cosmo 191. Salad dressing: French 192. Thing to do on the weekend: Chillax 193. Hot drink: Tea 194. Season: Can't choose 195. Sport to watch: None, really 196. Person to talk to online: Any friend ~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~ 197. What color are your sheets? I alternate beds. My actual bed has lavender sheets, Jake has plaid 198. What color are your bedroom walls? White 199. Do you have posters on your wall? At Jake's, but in my room, just pictures 200. If so of what? Movie posters mainly 201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? Yes 202. How many pillows are on your bed? My dorm: 4, Jake's house: 10 203. What do you normally sleep in? Jake's comifes, or occasionally my own blue silk nightgown, but that's rare 204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: Comfies of all sorts 205. What size bed do you have? Twin in the dorm, Jake has a queen 206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? Nope 207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? No 208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? No 209. Describe the last nightmare you had: Can't remember 210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Occasionally 211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? In my dorm, one. With two it is not at all comfy. At Jake's we've had four people laying on the bed. 212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? Don't think so 213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? No 214. Do you snore? No, not unless my allergies are all screwy 215. How about drool? No 216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? Yes 217. What color is the carpet in your room? None, at Jake's there's wood floor 218. What's under your bed? Shoeboxes ~This or that~ 219. Coke/Pepsi: Coke 220. Doughnuts/bagels: Bagels 221. Day/night: Night 222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: West 223. Heaven/hell: Heaven 224. Make love/have sex: They're synonamous! Make love 225. Coffee/tea: Tea 226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: Hamburgers 227. Rap/rock: Rock 228. Britney/Christina: Christina 229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: American 230. Real World/Road Rules: Real World 231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: NSync, if I have to choose 232. Silver/gold: Silver 233. Nike/Adidas: Nike 234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell 235. Sweet/sour: Sweet 236. Punk/emo: Neither, really 237. Hot/cold: Depends 238. Winter/summer: Summer 239. Spring/fall: Fall 240. Operas/plays: Plays 241. Read/watch tv: Read 242. Cd's/tapes: CDs 243. Dvd's/vhs: DVDs 244. Old/new: New 245. Shorts/skirts: Shorts 246. Pink/red: Pink 247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: Black and white 248. Meat/vegetables: Vegetables 249. Mexican food/chinese food: Chinese food 250. Commercials/infomercials: Commercials 251. Scary movies/comedies: Comedies 252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: Bikinis 253. Sandals/tennis shoes: Sandals 254. Dogs/cats: Dogs 255. Unicorns/fairies: Fairies 256. Water/land: Land 257. Sugar/spice: Sugar 258. Black/white: White 259. Ribbons/bows: Ribbons 260. Chicken/beef: Chicken 261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: White 262. Cars/trucks: Cars 263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Austin Powers 264. Popcorn/pretzels: Pretzels 265. Hip/hop: Hop 266. Passionate kiss/peck: Passionate 267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: Real 268. Back rub/foot massage: Back rub 269. Picture frames/photo albums: Photo albums 270. Pens/pencils: Pens ~What Is Your Opinion Of The Following~ 271. Eminem: I don't really listen to him 272. Virgins: I was one until prom last year, a mere few months ago. I was 17 and a half, I think it's good to wait until you're ready 273. God: I believe in Him 274. The Osbournes: Stop with all the bleeps! Can't understand a thing 275. Reality TV: Getting sick of it 276. J.Lo: Some good music 277. Religion: I'm Christian 278. Emo music: Don't listen to it 279. Valentine's Day: Just depends... 280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: Eh... 281. Homosexuals: You're choice 282. Abortion: Not sure 283. Inter-racial relationships: Their choice 284. Murder: Awful 285. Death: Hate it 286. Obesity: Not good 287. Pre-marital sex: I was leery... I guess if you're in love 288. Terrorism: Hate it 289. Pornography: Not exactly a fan 290. Fortune tellers: Don't go to them 291. Threesomes: I wouldn't do it 292. Prostitution: Pathetic 293. Politics: Confuses me 294. Country music: Not too fond 295. George W. Bush: Don't pay attention 296. Cloning: Not sure 297. Britney's boobs: I don't care 298. Gas prices in America: Outrageous! But I don't drive ~Name Game~ What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?... 299. Jack: Jen 300. Tiffany: Breakfast at Tiffany's 301. Ben: & Jerry's 302. Maria: girl 303. Jennifer: Lopez 304. Nicole: Girl from 5th grade 305. Amy: Jen 306. Adam: Jake's cousin 307. Richard: Dick 308. Justin: Timberlake 309. Arnold: Hey Arnold 310. Tom: and Jerry 311. Melissa: My cousin 312. Charlotte: Web 313. Harold: name 314. John: Cousin 315. Joel: Ex classmate 316. Vanessa: Gossip Girl 317. Michelle: Williams 318. Kevin: Smith 319. Brent: Cousin of mine 320. Jake: My love! 321. Billy: Bob 322. Sarah: Gellar 323. Natalie: Girl from camp 324. Christy: Snot 325. Nick: Lachey 326. Linda: teacher 327. Taylor: Friend's ex-boyfriend 328. Jordan: Brat 329. Jaime: Pressly 330. Adrian: Sounds girly ~Have You Ever....~ 331. Mooned anyone? No 332. Been on a diet? No 333. Been to a foreign country? No, I want to go to France, possibly Italy 334. Broken a bone? Yes 335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? No 336. Swear at a teacher? No 337. Talked to an LJ member via e-mails or instant messages? No 338. Got in a fight? Yes 339. Dated a teacher? No 340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No 341. Thought about killing your enemy? No 342. Gone skinny dipping? ...Yes 343. Met another LJ member in the flesh? No 344. Told a little white lie? Yes 345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? Probably 347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Don't know 348. Been on tv? No 349. Been on the radio? No 350. Been in a mosh pit? No 351. Been to a concert? No 352. Dated one of your best friends? Yes 353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? Yes 354. Decieved somebody close to you? Yes 355. Broken the law? Yes 356. Been to a rodeo? No 357. Been on a talk show? No 358. Been on a game show? No 359. Been on an airplane? Yes 360. Got to ride on a firetruck? No 361. Came close to dying? No 362. Cheated on a bf/gf? Yes 363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? Yes 364. Terrorized a babysitter? No 365. Made a mud pie? No 366. Had a dream that our falling off a cliff? No 367. Snuck out of the house at night? Yes 368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? Most likely 369. Had an eating disorder? No 370. Felt like you didn't belong? Yes 371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? Yes 372. Smoked? Yes 373. Done drugs? No 375. Had your tonsils removed? No 376. Gone to camp? Yes 377. Won a bet? Yes 378. Written a love letter? Yes 379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? Yes 380. Written a love poem? No 381. Kissed in the rain? Yes 382. Slow danced with someone you love? Yes 383. Participated in cyber sex? No 384. Faked an orgasm? No 385. Stolen a kiss? Yes 386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? Yes 387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? Yes 388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? Yes 389. Gotten a speeding ticket? No 390. Done jail time? No 391. Had to wear a uniform to work? Yes 392. Won a trophy? No 393. Thrown up in public? Yes 394. Bowled a perfect game? No 395. Failed/got held back? No 396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? No 397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? No 398. Taken ballet lessons? No 399. Attempted suicide? No 400. Cut yourself? No ~Childhood Stuff~ 401. Did you play with Barbies? No 402. Did you own Treasure Trolls? No 403. Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210? Yes 404. Did you play Simon? A few times 405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock? Yes 406. Did you wet the bed? No, maybe when I was too young to remember 407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? Yes 408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? Yes 409. Were you shy? Yes 410. Were you spoiled? Yes, sometimes 411. Were you abused? No 412. Did you go to the circus? Yes 413. Did you go to the zoo? Yes 414. Were you in a car accident? No 415. Did you build snowmen? Yes 416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee? Yes 417. Were your older cousins mean to you? Yes 418. Did you think slinkies were cool? Yes 419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? No 420. Were you afraid of the dark? Yes 421. Did you have slumber parties? No 422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets, curtains, sleeping bags, dolls and pajamas? No 423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany? No 424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy? Yes ~Randomness~ 425. Do you believe in aliens? Not sure 426. Name 3 things that are next to your computer: Speakers, Diet Coke, saline 427. Do you have any hidden talents? I guess 428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos? I don't really watch MTV 429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? Don't know 430. What would your movie star name be? Ashley 431. Do you play any sports? No 432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? The Ring, Scream, I'm a total scaredy-cat 433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently? "The Ring" 434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen? Too many! 435. Do you drive? I have a liscense, just rarely use it 436. What is your dream car? Don't care 437. Do you think you're good looking? I have my days 438. Do others think you are good looking? They tell me they do 439. Would you ever sky dive? Probably not 440. Do you believe in Bigfoot? No 441. How many rooms do you have in your house? I have a dorm, at Jake's there are 5, it's an apartment. 442. Are you afraid of roller coasters? Yes 443. Do you believe in God? Yes 444. Do you believe in Satan? Yes 445. Do you believe there is a heaven? Yes 446. Do you believe there is a hell? Yes 447. Do you own a pooltable? Parents do 448. Do you have a pool? No 449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen? At Jake's 450. Do you like chocolate? Yes 451. Who/what is on your 2003 calendar? It was custom made thanks to my Sammyantha, and has pics of our friends 452. How many U.S. states have you been to? 10 453. Ever wished on a shooting star? Yes 454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore? Ah... don't know 455. Do you carry any weapons on you? No 456. What is your weakness? Ben & Jerry's 457. Name something you can't get enough of: Jake 458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: Feisty, sarcastic, witty 459. How many kids do you want to have? We talked about this, and one or two. We don't want babies for awhile yet. 460. Future daughters names: Joey, Jen, Andie, I have to do a 'Creek' type dealy 461. Future sons names: Dawson, from 'Dawson's Creek'. Jake objects 462. What is your ideal way to die? Don't like to think about it 463. How do you release stress? Rant 464. Are you a trendy person? Depends on who you ask 465. Are you an artistic person? Yep 466. Are you a realistic person? Sometimes 467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off? No 468. Are you a strong person? Yes 469. Are you a strong willed person? Yes 470. Who is the last person to e-mail you? My sister 471. Who is the last person to IM you? Brad 472. Do you hate chain e-mails? Yes 473. Are you a deep sleeper? Sorta 474. Are you a good story teller? No 475. What do you believe is your best quality? Honesty 476. What is your greatest accomplishment? Making it to college, my grades 477. Do you like to burn candles or incense? Yes 478. Do you do yoga? No 479. Do you have your own credit card? No 480. Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money? Share 481. Do you have a check book? No 482. Do you like your driver's license picture? Oh no... 483. Do you tan easily? Yes 484. What color is your hair naturally? Brown 485. How many fillings do you have? None 486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit? None 487. Worst feeling in the world? So many... 488. Best feeling in the world? Love 489. Is the glass half empty or half full? Half full 490. Last thing you downloaded? Can't remember 491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? No 492. What do you think people think of you? Depends 493. Are you a likeable person? Yes 494. Do you need therapy? No 495. Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance? No 496. What the best way to be proposed to? I've only been proposed to once... it was at the beach, just us, everyone else had just gone home, and it was unexpected. Plus we couldn't really tell anyone... it was the night before we graduated, were afraid of everyone's opinion, so it was this great little secret 497. What kind of movie would you star in? Don't know 498. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Good idea, but no 499. When are you moving? Not for awhile 500. What's your favorite phrase? Don't have one (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 4th, 2003
7:27 pm	Jake took me to Cafe Deluxe last night, I'd never been there. I love it, the food was amazing. He said we were going to get something to eat, so I just about left in his flannel comfies and a school sweatshirt, I thought we were going to just run through somewhere. We live on fast food, that or we don't go out to eat. I'm horrible at cooking, so usually Jake or Kelley, depends on where I'm staying make food, or I eat at school. I love it here, such a great area. Kim called today, she wanted to 'chat', code for she wanted to interrogate me about the wedding plans. The problem is, we don't have any. Neither of us have the slightest idea of what to do, or where to start. We think we want it next summer, probably here in Wilmington. I think I'm staying here for the summer, but that's so far off. If it is here, I want it at Airlie Gardens, I'm told you can do that with a permit. I love that place-I go there a lot. So pretty. But I've got school to worry about for now, and work, so we're just taking things slowly, which I like. On the other hand, I feel like running off to Vegas and getting married in a little white chapel. Though I highly doubt I'd do that, I'm a bit too responsible for that. Kelley left me a 'surprise' in my purse-she loaded the thing with condoms. Wasn't very funny when I pulled one out at Wal-Mart. Who's to say I even need them?! I was humiliated, I need to get her back. She doesn't embarass easily at all though, it seems. I think she just likes putting me in uncomfortable situations, she gets a laugh out of it atleast. Time for some surveys/randomness: Ten Movies You Own [1] The Rules of Attraction [2] Boys and Girls [3] Varsity Blues [4] Dawson's Creek: Season One [5] The Skulls [6] Abandon [7] Scream [8] I Know What You Did Last Summer [9] My Best Friends Wedding [10] Bring It On Ten CDs You Own [1] Songs From Dawson's Creek [2] Songs from Dawson's Creek volume two [3} Now 11 [4] No Doubt 'Tragic Kingdom' [5] U2 'The Joshua Tree' [6] Friends soundtrack [7] Moulin Rouge soundtrack [8] 18 Screamers From the 80's [9] John Mayer 'Room For Squares' [10] Now 9 Women-Five Men You'd Like To Screw Men-Five Women You'd Like To Screw [1] Jake [2] James van der Beek 9my top celeb choice) That's about it, really... Women-Five Women You Wish You Were Men-Five Men You Wish You Were This might sound really cheesy, but... no one, just me. I'm okay with being me. Last Two Movies YOu've Seen In The Theater [1] The Hot Chick [2] American Pie 2 So it's been awhile... Two Recent Movies You Want To See [1] Carlies Angels 2 [2] Legally Blonde 2 Five Bands You Have Seen In Concert None, I think I may just be the only 18 year old able to say that. Five Bands You Want To See Really Badly! [1] No Doubt [2] Blink 182 [3] U2 [4] Sarah McLachlan [5] Jewel Name All The Countries You Have Been In [1] US Top Five Places You'd Like To Live [1] LA, I'm content with where I am now, but Jake really wants to live here, and I have to say I wouldn't exactly mind. Top Three Dream Jobs [1] Editor [2] Something to do with movies, producer, assistant, doesn't matter [3] Author of some sort Five Stores You Could Spen A Million Dollars At [1] Gap [2] American Eagle [3] Borders [4] Barneys [5] Target 'Nother survey I AM: a bit tired I WANT: Jake to come visit me I HAVE: to get some sleep! I WISH: upon a star lol I HATE: being tired I MISS: everyone! I FEAR: a ton of stuff I HEAR: 'I Wanna Be Your Underwear' playing on my CD I SEARCH: for some fingernail polish remover I WONDER: what time Jake gets off I REGRET: too many things to list I LOVE: all my friends, family, Jake I ACHE: for some Ben and Jerry's I ALWAYS: like to feel comfortable I AM NOT: very awake I DANCE: occasionally I SING: karaoke a lot I CRY: when I need to I AM NOT ALWAYS: how I'd like to be I WRITE: a lot! I WIN: occasionally I LOSE: a lot I CONFUSE: myself! I NEED: nothing but my family and friends I SHOULD: get cracking on my paper yes or no... x. you keep a diary: yes x. you like to cook: no, but I do it anyways x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yes x. you believe in love: yes The weirdest person you know: Jenn or I the Loudest Person you Know: Jenn the Sexiest Person you Know: Jake the Cutest Person you Know: Aly or my niece and nephews Your closest friend: Jake, Jenn, Brad, Ethan, Sam The People that Know the Most about you: Same as above What is...? your most overused phrase on IM: lol! the last image/thought you go to sleep with: Jake, usually Inside joke: Seattle, New Hampshire! Do You...? have a(any) crush(es): Jake! want to get married: yes get motion sickness: occasionally think you're a health freak: sometimes get along with your parents: yeah like thunderstorms: no, I'm a scaredy-cat SIGN: Sagitarrius NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Brown CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Brown EYE COLOR: Brown BIRTHPLACE: WI ( FAVORITES ) NUMBER: Don't have one COLOR: Purple or blue DAY: Don't have one MONTH: Don't have one SONG(S): "Daydream Believer" FOOD: Bananas SEASON: Don't have one SPORT: None DRINK: Diet Coke ( PREFERENCES ) CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? Both, cuddling's so much sweeter though. I love cuddlng. CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? hot chocolate MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? milk VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? vanilla ( IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU.... ) CRIED? yes, at Dawson's Creek HELPED SOMEONE? yep BOUGHT SOMETHING? nope GOTTEN SICK? yes GONE TO THE MOVIES? no GONE OUT FOR DINNER? yes SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yes, to my parents, sisters, and Jake WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? no TALKED TO AN EX? yes MISSED AN EX? no WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? Yes HAD A SERIOUS TALK? yes MISSED SOMEONE? of course HUGGED SOMEONE? yes FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? nope FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope name 5 bands/artists you listen to: Evanescence No Doubt Sarah McLachlan Jessica Simpson Jann Arden name 7 things you hate: Not many... would you ever~ 1. Eat a bug? no 2. Bungee jump? probably not 3. Hang glide? probably not 4. Kill someone? no! 5. Have sex with someone you don't love? of course not, I was 17 and 1/2 when I lost my virginity, and that was to my very best friend in the world whom I've known since infancy practically 6. Kiss someone of the same sex? no 7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? no 8. Parachute from a plane? I don't think so 9. Walk on hot coals? no 10. Go out with someone for their looks? I have 11. For their reputation? no 12. Be a vegetarian? no 13. Wear plaid with stripes? no 14. IM a stranger: yes 15. Sing karaoke? yes 16. Get drunk off your ass? yes 17. Shoplift? no 18. Run a red light? I try not to 19. Star in a porn video? no way! 20. Dye your hair blue? no 21. Be on Survivor? no 22. Wear makeup in public? yes 23. NOT wear makeup in public? yes 24. Cheat on a test? no 25. Make someone cry? Not on purpose 26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? no 27. Kick a baby? no way 28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? no 29. Cuss out a priest? no 30. Take a job as a janitor? no 31. Wear a tho-tho-tho-tho-thong? I have before, I hate them. 32. Stay up all through the night? yes 33. Drink straight espresso? yes (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003
5:52 pm	Not much new... There you go Flashing fever from your eyes Hey babe, come over here and shut down tight I'm not denying We're flying above it all Hold my hand, don't let me fall You've such amazing grace I've never felt this way... Show me heaven Cover me Leave me breathless Show me heaven please Here I go I'm shaking just like the breeze Hey baby I need your hand to steady me I'm not denying I'm frightened as much as you Though I'm barely touching you I've shivers down my spine And it feels divine Show me heaven Cover me Leave me breathless Show me heaven please If you know what like To dream a dream Baby hold me tight And let this be yer Show me heaven Cover me Leave me breathless Show me heaven please I've had that song stuck in my head, I love the lyrics. Just had to post them, so pretty. Jake, Kelley, Brad, Jenn, and I went out the other night. I got drunk for, what, maybe the third time in my life, very unpleasant. We played darts, I am beyond horrible, but it was fun. I think I got 200 points or so. Then we played some pool, Kelley didn't want to, and Brad, Jake, and Jenn all wanted to play, so I had to. Me and Jake were partners, and Jenn and Brad. We won, no thanks to me. I'm awful at pool as well, Jake tried to teach me, he says I'm getting better. I really don't think so though, but I love that he tries so hard to make me feel better. Then we had to hit the bar, Kelley had me drinking vodka, which I can't handle in large amounts, and that's what did it for me. I remember screaming at Jake in the parking lot, Kelley said I was going over to play strip poker, which I can not believe, so they got me out of there. Needless to say I'm not going out for awhile, if I do, I'll stick to my diet Coke. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 31st, 2003
9:12 pm	First entry I am so tired! I cleaned to day, not just tidying up, I cleaned Jake's whole apartment while he was out with Brad. So that meant watching Aly, too, but I love watching her. She's going back with Kim and Mike on Tuesday, I think. They wanted to go away or a few days, so left Aly with Jake. She's such a sweetie, I love watching Jake with her. Such a good big brother. Anyways, I didn't see Kelley today, so that eliminated drama. We're now getting along, but still... I'm on edge around her. She went out, no idea where too. Probably to some guys place... Yeah, that made me sound prudish, but I really don't give a damn. I just don't agree with her sleeping with virtually every male she sees. Sex's big with her, all she talks about it seems. It's pretty uncomfortable. Well I'm gonna experiment more with this Live Journal... thing seeing that I'm completely computer illiterate, so I'll stop the endless ramble. xoxo, Ashley (Comment on this)